Taoist Secrets of Love

Not all retention methods are equal. Coitus reservatus (sex without orgasm) conserves seed but creates severe prostate pressure because orgasmic tension is never released inwardly or outwardly. Chia cites a study finding one-third of Catholic priests died of prostate complications — suggesting that willpower-based celibacy without energy circulation harms health. Karezza (long passive intercourse) similarly fails to transform sexual energy upward.

The Taoist method has three sequential principles:
1. Conserve sexual energy by preventing ejaculation
2. Transform it upward through spinal energy channels to the brain and organs
3. Balance the polarity of male (yang) and female (yin) forces

Without all three steps, conservation alone creates stagnation. The energy must move.

The Microcosmic Orbit is the body's primary energy circuit. It consists of two channels: the Governor Channel running up the spine from perineum to crown, and the Functional Channel descending down the front from head to perineum. The tongue touching the roof of the mouth acts as a switch connecting the two, completing the loop. This is the same circuit recognized by acupuncturists as the main energy pathway linking all vital organs and glands.

Opening it is the prerequisite for everything. Chia recommends sitting meditation daily, relaxing and mentally following energy as it circulates from eyes down the front through tongue, throat, chest, and navel, then up the tailbone and spine to the head. Students who first master this circulation find semen retention dramatically easier to learn.

The Big Draw is the core technique. Formally called "Draw Nectar Up to the Golden Flower," it involves self-stimulating to near-orgasm, then performing rapid muscular contractions — clenching perineum, buttocks, jaw, fists, and feet — while inhaling deeply to pull aroused sexual energy up the spine to the crown. The erection should subside as energy moves upward. Chia recommends up to 10,000 repetitions alone before attempting it with a partner.

Build up through preparatory exercises. Three foundational practices develop the required control:
1. Testicle Breathing — drawing cool sperm energy upward using mental focus
2. Scrotal Compression — packing chi energy into the scrotum using breath
3. Power Lock — 36 repetitions twice daily of arousal-and-deflation cycles

Mastering these alone avoids the distracting heat and intensity of a partner.

Two fundamentally different orgasms exist. The "peak orgasm" is a single explosive genital release lasting seconds — then nothing. The "valley orgasm" is a continual rolling expansion of pleasure throughout the entire body, lasting minutes to hours during the plateau phase of lovemaking. It occurs when the yin and yang energies of both lovers reach an exquisitely delicate balance, triggering a spontaneous opening of energy centers the Taoists call tan tiens.

The valley orgasm cannot be forced. It arrives as a gift when both lovers deeply relax during the energy exchange phase between active thrusting periods. The couple breathes together, mentally spirals energy through successive body centers — navel, solar plexus, heart, throat, third eye, crown — and allows fusion to happen spontaneously. Chia describes it as a state of profound clarity and serenity.

Man is fire, woman is water. This ancient Taoist metaphor encodes a practical truth: a woman's vital organs need time to warm and release harmonious chi before intercourse will produce deep energy exchange. Chia outlines nine stages of female arousal, each corresponding to chi reaching a different organ — from rapid breathing (lungs) through moistened vagina (kidneys) to full ecstatic surrender (liver releasing spirit).

The rule is simple: don't enter until she's nearly boiling. Use tongue, fingers, and whole-body caresses — the "tactical weapons" — before deploying the penis, the "strategic" one. Once inside, employ the nine-shallow-one-deep thrusting method: nine shallow strokes stimulating her most sensitive outer nerve endings, one deep thrust creating vacuum and variation. This rhythm delights because it constantly refreshes her senses with change.

Conservation without exchange is incomplete. Dual cultivation — the practice of two lovers consciously exchanging chi energy during sex — is what transforms retained sexual essence into love and spiritual awareness. During the plateau phase, the man exhales his excess hot yang energy into the woman through the penis while inhaling her cool yin energy up his spine. Their two Microcosmic Orbits join into a figure-eight circuit flowing through mouths and genitals.

A woman's perspective confirms the depth. One practitioner of Ovarian Kung Fu reported whole-body orgasms lasting minutes, telepathic connection with her partner, and the ability to direct orgasmic energy to heal weak organs. She described it as "turning the sexual act into a really high art form of communication" that created a quality of tenderness and harmony far beyond conventional sex.

Choosing a lover is choosing a destiny. Because dual cultivation involves literally absorbing your partner's subtle substance, you gradually become each other over time — old couples resemble each other because they've exchanged so much energy they're made of the same life-stuff. A vulgar or jealous partner infuses those qualities into you. A loving, cultivated partner elevates you. Chia personally did not ejaculate for ten years, then ejaculated just twice to conceive his son.

Depth beats variety decisively. A student-lawyer summarized it powerfully: the playboy never leaves the "hick town called the body," while the faithful lover travels vast continents of hidden worlds within. Scattering energy across many partners prevents the alchemical fusion of ching, chi, and shien that requires stability and time to mature.