Holy Sexuality and the Gospel

1. Identity in Christ, Not Sexuality: Our True Essence

My true identity is in Jesus Christ alone.

Mistaken identity. Many in our culture, including those with same-sex attractions, believe their sexuality defines "who I am." This perspective, rooted in secular philosophies like Romanticism and Existentialism, elevates feelings and desires to the core of personhood, leading to a distorted view of self. However, the Bible offers a different truth.

God's image. Our identity begins with theological anthropology, recognizing that we are all created in the image of God (imago Dei). This image is:

• Very good: Though distorted by sin, it's never lost. Every person holds inestimable value.
• Unique: Humans are distinct from all other creation, not merely animals.
• Male and female: Sexual differentiation is essential to our being, not a social construct.
• Christological: The image is perfectly restored in Jesus Christ, and believers are conformed to His image.

Beyond feelings. Rejecting our inherent essence in God's image and replacing it with what we feel or do is an affront to our Creator. Our identity is given by God, not created by our desires or experiences. Understanding this foundational truth is crucial for comprehending human sexuality biblically.

2. Original Sin: The Root of All Sinful Desires

With same-sex attractions, the problem is sin, and the gospel is the answer.

The Fall's impact. The doctrine of original sin is essential to understanding human sexuality. Adam and Eve's disobedience introduced sin, resulting in:

• Guilt: A judicial status of culpability, not just a feeling.
• Polluted nature: Every person is born with a sinful condition, affecting actions, words, thoughts, and desires.

Incorrect diagnosis. Many mistakenly attribute same-sex attractions to external factors like absentee fathers, dominant mothers, or past trauma. While these can influence, they are secondary catalysts, not the primary root cause. Blaming upbringing denies the pervasive reality of original sin and the sufficiency of Christ's work.

Sinful nature. Same-sex attraction, like all sinful desires, finds its genesis in original sin. It is not a neutral "disability" but a moral consequence of the Fall. To claim otherwise is Pelagianism, a heresy that denies original sin. The answer for our sinful nature is not human-centered therapy, but Jesus Christ and the transforming power of the gospel.

3. Holy Sexuality: God's Standard for All

God’s standard for everyone is holy sexuality: chastity in singleness and faithfulness in marriage.

Beyond heterosexuality. Simply affirming "heterosexuality is right" is insufficient, as it tacitly endorses heterosexual sins like adultery, fornication, and incest. The Bible does not bless every indiscriminate variety of opposite-sex relationships. God's standard is more precise than merely "normal" or "common."

A new paradigm. The terms "heterosexual" and "homosexual" originate from a secular anthropology that elevates sexual desires as defining identity. Instead, we need a biblical paradigm: "holy sexuality." This encompasses two paths:

• Chastity in singleness: Sexual abstinence and fleeing lustful desires.
• Faithfulness in marriage: Sexual and emotional fidelity to an opposite-sex spouse, also fleeing lustful desires.

Not a prerequisite. Sexual desire is not a prerequisite for marriage. Over-sexualizing marriage can distort its purpose. The goal for those with same-sex attractions is not to develop heterosexual attractions, but to pursue holiness. The biblical opposite of homosexuality (or any sin) is holiness, not heterosexuality.

4. Temptation is Not Sin, But Requires Vigilance

Being tempted doesn’t mean you have little faith because it’s quite ordinary and human to be tempted.

Jesus's example. Jesus was "tempted as we are, yet without sin" (Hebrews 4:15). His sinlessness in the face of temptation makes Him the ultimate example of struggling and overcoming. His sympathy for our weaknesses comes from His perfect endurance, not from succumbing to sin.

God's faithfulness. Paul assures us that "no temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it" (1 Corinthians 10:13). This means:

• Temptations are not unique or unbearable.
• God always provides an escape.
• Superhuman capacity is not required to endure.

Vigilance is key. While temptations are not sinful in themselves, they are not benign. James 1:14-15 warns that "desire when it has conceived gives birth to sin." Therefore, resisting, fighting, and fleeing temptations—including same-sex temptations—is a vital and normal aspect of a mature Christian's life.

5. Marriage and Singleness: Gifts for God's Glory

Rather than think of singleness as a temporary state before marriage, think of marriage as a temporary state before eternity.

Marriage as covenant. Marriage is a profound, permanent, exclusive, and holistic "one flesh" union between a man and a woman, established by God. It is not the highest ideal of love (God is), nor is it merely a cure for loneliness. Its purpose is to enable a husband and wife to fulfill God's mission of worshipping, serving, and obeying Him.

Singleness affirmed. Jesus and Paul both affirm singleness as a good gift. In Matthew 19:11-12, Jesus teaches that singleness can be "advantageous" for the kingdom of heaven, not a curse or a deficient state. The "gift of singleness" (1 Corinthians 7:7) is simply that singleness is good, not a special calling, lifelong commitment, or unique capacity for continence.

Temporary states. Both marriage and singleness are temporary states in God's grand story. In the resurrection, there will be no marriage (Matthew 22:30), as earthly marriage foreshadows the ultimate reality of Christ and the Church. Our ultimate joy and contentment must be in God alone, whether married or single.

6. The Church: Our Eternal Spiritual Family

The bonds of spiritual family run deeper than those of blood family and friends.

Redefining family. Jesus dramatically redefines family, elevating spiritual family (the church) over natural family. Through adoption by God, all believers become sons and daughters of God, eternally bound as brothers and sisters in Christ. This spiritual family is the ultimate answer to our deepest longings for intimacy and community.

Beyond friendship. While friendships are valuable, the New Testament emphasizes spiritual brotherhood and sisterhood within the church. This community provides:

• Preaching of God's Word: Regular public proclamation of truth.
• Sacraments/Ordinances: Baptism and the Lord's Supper as covenant signs.
• Headship: Guidance, accountability, discipline, and restoration under Christ and church leaders.

Integration and love. The church should be an integrated family where nuclear families welcome singles, and all members learn and grow from one another's diverse experiences. This lived-out reality of spiritual family can effectively mitigate loneliness and isolation, making the beauty and glory of Christ's body known to a dying world.

7. Sanctification: A Lifelong Journey of Transformation

God is concerned less about our happiness and more about our holiness.

Holiness as the goal. God commands, "Be holy, for I am holy." Sanctification is the process of being made holy, a radical, inward transformation flowing from our union with Christ. It is not achieved by willpower or behavior modification, but by God's grace permeating our thoughts, desires, and actions.

Gospel holiness. Sanctification is a gift of grace, distinct from but inseparable from justification. It is:

• Positional (past): An instantaneous break from sin's power at conversion.
• Progressive (present): A daily process of struggle and growth, making us more like Christ.
• Perfected (future): Brought to completion when we are fully united with Christ in glory.

Suffering and denial. The path to holiness is paved with suffering and self-denial. Jesus calls us to "deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me." This means a radical amputation of sin, which is neither comfortable nor painless. Temptation is compatible with sanctification; true change is evident in resisting sin, not its absence.

8. True Compassion Flows from Our Own Brokenness

The main takeaway of this parable is not love your neighbor by trying hard to be like the good Samaritan but rather love your neighbor by realizing you are the traveler and Jesus, the good Samaritan, has loved you first.

The Good Samaritan. Jesus's parable of the Good Samaritan teaches us how to love our neighbor. The lawyer's question, "Who is my neighbor?" is inverted by Jesus to "Who proved to be a neighbor?" The key is to identify with the robbed traveler, realizing that we, too, were left for dead by sin.

Christ's love. Only when we grasp that Jesus is the Good Samaritan who had compassion on us, paying the ultimate price for our healing, can we truly love others. Our love for our neighbor is not generated from our own goodness, but is an overflow and reflection of Christ's abundant love for us.

Solidarity in sin. My parents, after their conversion, showed compassion to my gay friend Jordan because they realized their struggle with sin was no different from his. This humility allows us to love those we perceive as despised or undeserving, knowing we too were once enemies of God.

9. Outreach: Patiently Pointing to Christ

We must live the gospel before we preach the gospel.

Building trust. Ministry to the gay community, like ministry to Muslims, requires patience, sensitivity, and respect. Many perceive Christians as having deep animosity. Therefore, building relationships and establishing trust must precede broaching controversial topics or pointing out sin.

Things to avoid:

• Comparing sins: Unhelpful with those who don't believe their actions are sinful.
• "Lifestyle" or "choice": These terms can be offensive as they contradict a person's self-perception of identity.
• "Love the sinner; hate the sin": Non-Christians often only hear the "but" and feel unloved.
• Constant debating: People are not debated into the kingdom. Jesus tailored His responses, sometimes answering with a question to deepen the conversation.

Intentional love. Instead, focus on:

• Prayer and fasting: Only God changes hearts.
• Listening: Understand their story and acknowledge their feelings without necessarily agreeing with their actions.
• Transparency: Share what God has done in your life.
• Intentionality: Invite them into your life and home, showing what a Christian household looks like.
• Patience and persistence: God's timing is perfect.

Our ultimate aim is to lead people to Jesus, not just to convince them that same-sex relationships are sinful.

10. Discipleship: Grounded in a New Identity

Following Jesus should cost us everything; if it hasn’t, you’re following the wrong Jesus.

Freedom from shame. For Christians with same-sex attractions, guilt for confessed sins is from the Enemy, not God. Once confessed and repented, God's forgiveness and cleansing are guaranteed. Anxiety about the future should also be cast off, trusting God's plan.

The path of discipleship. Discipleship is a lifelong journey of learning and growing in Christ, grounded in:

• Mentorship: Seek godly mentors within the local church.
• Scripture: The Word of God is living, active, and essential for transformation.
• Local church: The ideal context for discipleship, providing truth, ordinances, community, accountability, and restoration.

Imitating Christ. At its heart, discipleship is about emulating Christ and conforming our lives to His. This means living out our identity in Christ—created, crucified, buried, baptized, united, justified, glorified, and sanctified in Him. We deny ourselves, take up our cross daily, and follow Jesus, knowing the gospel is costly but worth it. Our destination is Christ, our ultimate joy and satisfaction.