Becoming a Woman of Influence

1. Embrace Intentional Influence Like Jesus

Spirituality is not easy to define, but its presence or absence can easily be discerned. . . . It is the power to change the atmosphere by one’s presence, the unconscious influence that makes Christ and spiritual things real to others.

Everyone influences. Whether recognized or not, every individual influences those around them. The choice lies in whether this influence is intentional and positive, shaping hearts toward Christ, or unintentional and potentially less impactful. The author's own journey, inspired by figures like Corrie ten Boom, highlights a passionate desire to live a life that draws others to Jesus.

Intentional impact. Becoming a woman of influence means consciously deciding to impact lives, not out of obligation, but out of love and a deep sense of purpose. This involves viewing daily interactions, interruptions, and casual conversations as "God appointments"—opportunities to intentionally influence people in your path. This shift in perspective transforms ordinary moments into potential impact moments.

Jesus's model. Jesus serves as the ultimate model for intentional influence. He poured His life into a small group of ordinary people, who in turn profoundly impacted the world. By studying His life and integrating His principles, we can learn to make a lasting difference, recognizing that our influence is about shaping hearts to His image, not about selfish pride or impressing others.

2. Prioritize Time Alone with God

Very early in the morning, while it was still dark, Jesus got up, left the house and went off to a solitary place, where he prayed.

Non-negotiable priority. Jesus consistently demonstrated that time alone with God was a non-negotiable priority, even amidst His busiest days. After a day filled with preaching, healing, and ministering to crowds, He would rise early to seek His Father, showing that a hectic schedule should never crowd out this essential spiritual discipline. This practice energized Him and clarified His mission.

Prayer produces results. Time in prayer is not merely a spiritual exercise but a powerful catalyst for action and clarity. Jesus's call to "pray for harvest hands" immediately resulted in His disciples becoming those very workers. Similarly, personal prayer can clarify one's mission, confirm commitments, and produce unexpected answers, often making us the answer to our own prayers.

Cultivating solitude. While finding a physically solitary place can be challenging, especially for busy women, cultivating a "solitude of the heart" is always possible. This inward attentiveness allows one to listen to God's voice amidst outward chaos. Practical ways to foster this include:

• Telling others what God is teaching you.
• Praying aloud together.
• Singing praise and worship songs.
• Discussing inspiring spiritual resources.

3. Influence Through "Walking and Talking"

The most important life lessons are almost always “caught” rather than “taught.”

Everyday teachable moments. Jesus's ministry was largely conducted in informal, non-classroom settings, often as He walked and talked with His disciples. He transformed everyday events and interruptions into "impact moments" for teaching profound truths. This approach emphasizes that authentic influence often happens organically, through shared life experiences rather than formal instruction.

Open homes, open hearts. Jesus "hung out" in people's homes, demonstrating that hospitality and vulnerability are powerful tools for influence. By inviting others into our lives—our homes, our daily routines, our struggles—we allow them to observe how faith is lived out authentically. Admitting our imperfections and seeking forgiveness, as the author did, can surprisingly foster deeper connection and trust.

Lifestyle as witness. Our daily "walk and talk" serves as a powerful witnessing tool. Like Deborah Henry's employer, whose Christlike character spoke volumes, our consistent behavior can spark curiosity and a longing for deeper meaning in others. This means:

• Being "salt-seasoning" (Matthew 5:12) by bringing out God-flavors.
• Going public with our faith (Matthew 5:14-16) as a visible light.
• Keeping "open house" (Matthew 5:16) by being generous with our lives.
• Living out our God-created identity (Matthew 5:48) generously and graciously.

4. Master the Art of Storytelling

Unless it touches me viscerally, existentially, experientially, I don’t care. It may be as true as one plus one equals two, but it is meaningless to me.

Making truth relevant. Stories are powerful vehicles for communicating spiritual truth, making it memorable and emotionally resonant. In a culture of "mosaic thinkers" who process information differently, stories capture imagination and create readiness for receptive insight, often succeeding where abstract theology might fail. The author's personal story about her son's Naval Academy appointment illustrates how a narrative can embed biblical principles like prayer over worry.

Jesus, the master storyteller. Jesus routinely used parables and word pictures, transforming ordinary objects and situations into illustrations of profound spiritual truths. From a pine nut to a lost coin, He connected with His audience by painting vivid mental images that evoked emotional responses. This approach helps listeners visualize and internalize the message, making it stick long after the telling.

Empowering others. Beyond telling our own stories, we should encourage others to share theirs. Every Christian has a testimony of a transformed life (2 Corinthians 5:17), and providing opportunities for younger believers to articulate their journey can be deeply impactful for both the storyteller and the listener. This also helps fulfill the "Grand Story" of God's redemptive plan, which postmodern individuals often lack a sense of belonging to.

5. Unlock Truth by Asking Powerful Questions

For a man who had all the answers, Jesus asked a lot of questions.

Questions reveal truth. Jesus was a master at asking questions that exposed falsehood, revealed truth, and prompted deep introspection. He didn't ask to show His intelligence but to make people think for themselves, often exposing hypocrisy or uncovering hidden motives, as seen in His interaction with the Pharisees about John's baptism.

Uncovering deep longings. Jesus's questions often cut to the heart of people's deepest needs and desires. His simple yet profound question to the blind beggar, "What do you want me to do for you?", empowered the man to voice his longing and affirm his belief. Asking similar open-ended questions of those we mentor can reveal their true aspirations and guide our support.

Triggering faith growth. Questions can be powerful tools for fostering spiritual growth, especially during moments of doubt or struggle. Jesus's question to Peter, "You of little faith... why did you doubt?", after rescuing him from sinking, served as a lifelong reminder of God's power. In mentoring, timely questions can help individuals:

• Examine their choices and their impact.
• Verbalize their fears and hopes.
• Reaffirm their faith in challenging circumstances.
• Clarify their understanding of Jesus's identity and purpose.

6. Demonstrate Hands-On Compassion

Compassion is understanding the troubles of others, coupled with an urgent desire to help.

Heart's response and helping hand. Compassion is more than just feeling pity; it's a deep emotional response to another's suffering combined with a tangible desire to alleviate it. Ruth Winslow's work with leprosy patients, not only providing physical care but also vocational training, exemplifies this hands-on approach, mirroring Jesus's willingness to touch the "untouchable."

Jesus noticed needs. Jesus consistently noticed people's confusion, pain, and neediness, even when He Himself was exhausted or grieving. Instead of being irritated by interruptions, His heart broke with compassion, leading Him to heal and minister. This challenges us to cultivate an awareness of others' suffering and to prioritize their needs over our own comfort or schedule, as the author learned from her missed opportunity on a plane.

Healing touch. Throughout the Gospels, Jesus's compassion was often expressed through physical touch, which validated individuals' worth and affirmed their personhood. His touch, whether healing the blind or a leper, communicated profound acceptance and love. We can offer a "healing touch" through:

• Warm hugs or a gentle squeeze of an arm.
• Practical acts of service like babysitting or cooking meals.
• Thoughtful gestures like sending cards on difficult anniversaries.
• Inviting others to join us in acts of kindness for those in need.

7. Practice Unconditional Love

There is nothing else that can expand the human soul, actualize the human potential for growth, or bring a person into the full possession of life more than a love which is unconditional.

Love without conditions. Unconditional love, as exemplified by Jesus, is given freely, without regard for merit, past actions, or social status. The author's personal journey of accepting her daughter-in-law, April, despite initial expectations, illustrates the transformative power of letting go of conditions and embracing God's relentless love. This love validates worth and fosters new confidence.

Jesus's radical acceptance. Jesus's interaction with the Samaritan woman at the well defied social norms and religious prejudices, demonstrating His unconditional love. He saw beyond her past and societal labels, affirming her truthfulness and revealing Himself as the Messiah. This radical acceptance empowered her to share her story and plant seeds of faith in her village.

Loving like Jesus. Paul's description of love in 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 provides a blueprint for practicing unconditional love. It involves:

• Kindness: A warm assurance of care and support.
• Encouragement: Reassuring others of their inherent strength.
• Challenge: A loving, firm exhortation to positive action.
  This means forgiving those who don't "deserve" it, refraining from judgment, and actively seeking to bless others, even those with "doubtful reputations," as the author demonstrated with her friend Lori.

8. Cast Vision for Others' God-Given Potential

What you are is God’s gift to you. What you can become is your gift to Him.

Seeing potential. Jesus had an extraordinary ability to see beyond people's current circumstances or perceived limitations, recognizing their God-given potential. He recruited unlikely candidates—fishermen, tax collectors—and envisioned them as leaders who would change the world. As mentors, we must pray for similar discernment to see the potential in those around us, affirming their unique gifts and contributions.

Inspiring purpose. Effective mentors "hold a crown just a little above their heads and ask them to grow into it." Jesus did this for Peter, declaring him a "rock" upon which the church would be built, instilling immense confidence and purpose. By verbally affirming strengths and spiritual gifts, we can help others envision their personal worth and future ministry, setting them up for success rather than failure.

Challenging to action. Jesus's ultimate act of casting vision was the Great Commission: "Go into the world. Go everywhere and announce the Message of God’s good news to one and all." This challenging task, coupled with His assurance of presence, mobilized His followers. We can inspire others to embrace this mission by:

• Modeling evangelism ourselves.
• Providing training and opportunities for them to share their faith.
• Encouraging them through setbacks.
• Delegating tasks that align with their emerging gifts, fostering a sense of ownership and joy in kingdom work.